I’m sitting in the dermatologist parking lot because I arrived 45 minutes early for my appointment. It is a routine check up so I’m not too concerned about being here. The last of my doctor visits almost. One more to go for a second opinion. First opinion, eye doctor, wants to do laser surgery on my corneas to allow for pressure relief just in case. So I’m getting a second opinion. Been to colonoscopy doc, mammogram scan, now dermatology and then a repeat eye exam. This takes a lot out of me.
So what’s up with my mood? Why am I feeling funky? Is it from being cooped up from Covid? I don’t think it is because I normally live a life of isolation. I can’t figure it out.
Maybe because there’s trouble with my Michigan daughter. Things are rather unpleasant. We need therapy to work it out but she hasn’t followed through on it yet.
It usually takes me months to figure out my feelings so I’m not too stressed about this funk.
It will be good to determine why I’m in this space. I work one day a week in the lab and tomorrow’s my day. I don’t like it but then I do. Get to keep my brain active and make some extra money.
I’ve allowed myself to gain some weight back because my arms looked like a ninety year old woman’s arms. They are plumped out now and look better but I need to stop the weight gain. In a size 12 jean and that’s perfect for me.
I still have the boyfriend. Maybe he’s the reason for my funky feeling. He’s very unaffectionate. He continues to come over. We watch sports, bet on FanDuel, watch politics and discuss politics. He’s right leaning; I’m left leaning. This makes for interesting discussions. Maybe it’s the unsureness of the relationship – I never know if he’s coming back or not. There’s no talk of a commitment. There’s just really nothing that binds us together. And maybe that’s the best way to be? Just by myself in the relationship. It’s foreign to me. But I’ve been twice divorced so I’m not too confident in my relationship strategies. At this point I’m open to advice and opinions 😷
Blogging in the Universe 